This Week’s Word & Thought: Time

Roy “Tutsi” James Hamilton died this last weekend at the age of 57, my age.  He was born December 6, 1959 in Stilwell, Oklahoma.  I knew Roy in school from around the age of ten.  We moved in different circles during school, but I have never forgotten him.  He was what I call an “everyday hero” because of his stoic gentleness and peace.

 

 

 The following is my definition of an everyday hero taken from a blog post I wrote in February, 2014.  Here is a link if you wish to read “Heroes”.

http://belikebuddha.blogspot.com/2014/02/heroes.html

The last group and the most unsung and quiet are what I refer to as the “everyday hero”.  This group of heroes I believe has the most lasting impact on others.  The doctor I spoke of in the opening of this blog post is an example of an everyday hero.  The absolute best example of this type of heroism was defined for me years earlier when I watch the movie based on the book by Amy Tan, The Joy Luck Club.  In the story there is an exchange between the main character June and her mother Suyuan.  She was explaining to her daughter why she was indeed special over her very successful, beautiful and demanding sister.  Suyuan stated (paraphrasing) that while June’s older sister always expected and took the choicest cut of meat at dinner, June always took the least cut of meat. 

I look for the everyday hero.  When you spot them, they are not flamboyant or looking for praise.  They are generally humble or direct in their mission.  Accolades are not what they seek and in fact are generally embarrassed by them.  I would like to think I would have the courage to be an incidental hero, but who knows unless it happened.  Not sure I’m in a place or have the skills to be a situational hero.  So, I strive daily to try to be an everyday hero.  It isn't easy and I am sure I fail more often than succeed.  I am so humbled by the sacrifice of others in all three types of heroes.  Find your heroes.  They may be as close as right next to you.

Over the years, I have often thought of Roy and wondered what he was doing.  In the last year I was able to reconnect with him through Facebook.  We had a few conversations back and forth and I had gotten the impression he was ill, but he never let me know the seriousness of his condition.  Again, very much like Roy.

It was my intent per our last conversation to try and connect with him for possibly dinner the next time I came back to visit with my Mom, who is a resident at the Stilwell Nursing Home.  I was there two weeks ago and it was a bit of an in and out trip.  I was going to try and see if Roy and I could have dinner, but couldn’t find the time and little did I know Roy was very ill at that time.

I am grateful that I had the chance during the last year to at the very least let him know what an example he was to me when we were young.  That I always thought of him as one of the most genuine and kindhearted people I had ever met.  This is not something I take lightly.  I hold him in regards the same as Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., Socrates, Maya Angelou, and Nelson Mandela, to name a few. 

At this point in my life, I study a great deal the eastern philosophy of Buddha.  Not the religion that it has turned into, but rather the teachings of the man.  Roy reminded me most of Buddha’s teachings.  Selfless, generous, genuine, empathetic, and true. 

“We will develop and cultivate the liberation of mind by living kindness, make it our vehicle, make it our basis, stabilize it, exercise ourselves in it, and fully perfect it.”  - Buddha  

I write this blog for two reasons:  1) to honor someone who unknowingly and unwittingly had a very large impact on my life just by being a beautiful spirit, and, 2) to mourn the loss and passage of time without my having reconnected fully with Roy.  I regret this deeply.

To Roy I say, “Thank you for being an example for me to follow. May your spirit be free and full of joy.” 

To you I say, “Time is the only thing you can never get back, you can never purchase, you can never pause.  Do not waste time, especially when it comes to letting someone know that they are important to you.  Engage them now.  Love them now, for tomorrow my never come.”

Namaste,

Tom

This Week’s Word & Thought: Purpose

I have gone through an enormous amount of word play trying to come up with the right one to convey the thoughts I want to share with you.  It is amazingly difficult to find just the right one.  I believe I did so with the word Purpose.

Let’s focus on the definition of purpose as a noun in this post.

pur·pose (noun):  the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.

synonyms:  motive, motivation, grounds, cause, occasion, reason, point, basis, justification

With that in mind, I did some research on famous uses of the word purpose (or a synonum) as a noun.  Here are some of the quotes more on point to my thoughts.

“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them.” –  Dalai Lama

“The thing to do, it seems to me, is to prepare yourself so you can be a rainbow in somebody else's cloud. Somebody who may not look like you. May not call God the same name you call God - if they call God at all. I may not dance your dances or speak your language. But be a blessing to somebody. That's what I think.” – Maya Angelou

“Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction.” – John F. Kennedy

“The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls.” – Pablo Picasso

I have often puzzled my purpose.  My reason for being.  I don’t believe in fate or predestination.  I believe in a whole lot of factors; events, genetics, history, etc., that shape who we become.  I also believe our purpose changes over time for many of us due to where we are at in life.  A balance of what we have learned and our years.  At this point in my life, my purpose is focusing on enjoying the beauty that is humanity.  In studying and researching art, music, written word, history and the heroes of the past, and most importantly, heroes of today.  Not necessarily famous, but someone who connects you with humanity.

I must work to look past events of recent and realize that is not the majority, but really just focus placed on the sensational.  In a time where we keep hearing about the rise of extremists who believe in genocide and segregation based on either religion, race, sexuality, or gender identity, I say again, not the majority of people.

I believe in the innate goodness of humanity.  That humankind has an amazing ability to learn, grow, help, and love.  But, to counter that which is negative, our purpose must be, in our own and unique individual way, to grow this believe in humankind.  To focus on compassion, empathy, generosity of not just material items, but generosity of the spirit.

“The thing to do, it seems to me, is to prepare yourself so you can be a rainbow in somebody else’s cloud.”

Namaste,

Tom