I have found that love and loneliness are often tied together. I know couples who are together that appear to be lonely. Are they not in love? Have they forgotten what it was that triggered their love? Or, have they just changed too much from who they were when the relationship started? I believe, from experience, they don't know how or they are too afraid to say this isn't working.
Because I have been hurt fairly badly in the past, I had shut myself off from the concept of being in love ever again. I assumed it would simply never happen and to the point I never even noticed someone that I would normally have been attracted to in the past. I have had interest shown towards me and I simply ignored it or shut them down.
There have also been self-esteem issues to deal with primarily around physical appearance. We do not get to stay young and beautiful forever. One day you wake up and realize you are fifty, struggling with old sports injuries, dealing with chronic disease, and let's face it, lived harder than was probably healthy. So, you face that reality and you start to rebuild yourself and with the understanding that you are at a certain age. Accept who you are at this point in your life and as I stated in previous blogs, "Love yourself."
The next part is go after what you want even if you are scared to death (as I am). I believe the single most profound quote I have ever heard regarding being in love is from Stephen Chbosky, the author of The Perks of Being a Wallflower. The quote is,
"We accept the love we think we deserve.”
Wow! What a powerful statement and I believe it is true. You must truly respect and love yourself to realize that you absolutely deserve to be loved and loved often and well. Respect should always be expected and romance should never go out of style. Giggling should be a requirement and kisses on a schedule. Dancing for the hell of it is a bonus and perhaps even naked.
I guess part of this blog is me talking to myself. Telling me to get off my butt and get busy. Love isn't just going to fall into my lap. I must be open to it and believe I deserve it to notice those who just might be the one. Who knows, going to the grocery store could become interesting.
Namaste,
“First best is falling in love. Second best is being in love. Least best is falling out of love. But any of it is better than never having been in love.” - Maya Angelou
