Sunday, April 20, 2014

Live Life in the Moment

This edition is dedicated to a very dear friend of mine who recently and suddenly lost a loved one.  When we spoke, the abruptness combined with the simple finality of it was disturbing for them.  The loved one who passed away had lived a more casual and in some ways more distant and less intimate with others type of life.  This in turn would make the memorializing of their passing less in all ways.  This, while understandable, would still be life questioning when you are suddenly confronted in such a personal way.  What is the purpose?  Is this all there is?  You are here and then you go and that is it?

I say no.  I do sincerely believe you must strive to live in the moment and never dwell on the past or worry over the future.  The past is the past and there is no changing it no matter what Dr. Who does.  The future, again ignore Dr. Who, is not something you will ever know.  The future is illusive and tomorrow never comes.  So focus on this moment in your life.  Love your loved ones.  Make life better for others around you even if it is in small and subtle ways.  Try to cause no harm.

According to the teachings of Buddha, he stated, "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."  It makes perfect sense.  If you are not distracted by your perceived failures or by your worrying about the future, then you will have more emotion, spirit and mind available for those around now, at this moment.

Bruce Lee stated, "The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering."  To my dear friend I say, "You have and continue to do so."  You will be remembered greatly by many and if you depart before me, I will celebrate your life.  I expect the same from you if I depart before you.

Namaste and a good helping of love to my friend.

"Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely." - Buddha 


Sunday, April 6, 2014

"Where There is Love, There is Life" - Mahatma Gandhi

I have had the joy the past 4 days of watching my youngest son and his beautiful wife with their first child and my second grandchild.  She had a a bit more difficulty and therefore needs more care and help for awhile and all of us who are parents know that a newborn definitely needs attention.

I came under the guise of lending a hand, but all grandparents know why I really came.  I'm a bit housekeeper, chef, dog attendant, and my favorite part is when I get to hold Jax (Jackson Ryan DeSpain).  You never forget or get too old to enjoy the feeling of holding an actual miracle of nature in your arms next to your chest so you can feel his breathing and heart against you.  You never grow tired of the soft cooing noises he makes as he wiggles and stretches against you.  There is no more wonderful sensation.  And don't babies just smell wonderful, well most of the time anyway.

Watching my son with his partner is also remarkable.  The care and love he is giving her in an obvious and all consuming way can't help but make me smile.  He never complains.  He never is short or grumpy although he is very obviously tired right now.  We spoke about their relationship when we had made a trip to the store and I told him how proud I was of him and the way he treated his truly wonderful other half.  He told me it was easy because she was his best friend.  Wow, the absolute most powerful sentence about being in love one can make.  Without being best friends, you will never truly be lovers.

When I watched my son with his son, again it was wonderful.  He was absolutely enthralled, fascinated and madly loves his child.  A most wonderful event to watch and I believe perhaps he will even understand me a bit more.  When I held Jax to give them a break to eat, shower, dress, etc., after a bit he would start to hover and I would ask if he would like his son back.  He somewhat casually would say yes, and I would laugh inside knowing that he most definitely wanted him back.

This last part sounds sad, but it isn't.  It is just the cycle of life.  I have truly now let go of my son.  He now has his own family and that will be his focus, as it should be.  It does not mean he will not always be one of my dearest and best friends.  Nor does it mean my being enthralled, fascinated and madly love him as well as his two brothers will  ever end.

Thank you to my son and daughter-in-law for allowing me to participate.

Namaste

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." - Lao Tzu

Laozi (also spelled Lao-Tzu; ; Lao-tze) was a philosopher and poet of ancient China. He is best known as the reputed author of the Tao Te Ching[1] and the founder of philosophical Taoism, but he is also revered as a deity in religious Taoism and traditional Chinese religions. Although a legendary figure, he is usually dated to around the 6th century BC and reckoned a contemporary of Confucius, but some historians contend that he actually lived during the Warring States period of the 5th or 4th century BC.[2] A central figure in Chinese culture, Laozi is claimed by both the emperors of the Tang dynasty and modern commonfolk of the Li family as a founder of their lineage. Throughout history, Laozi's work has been embraced by various anti-authoritarian movements.