Reading Isn't Just Fundamental......

It is life altering.  To teach a child to read and to give them access to books allows them the freedom to be anyone or any place at any point in time.  Next to love, reading is truly the greatest gift you can give to a child.  It opens their immediate limited world up to all the possibilities of the studies of our world and all the imaginings of others.

Often when I was very young and life was a bit harder than it should have been for a child, books were my escape.  I remember my flashlight under the covers and with the latest Hardy Boys mystery.  Books also helped to mold my curiosity and my desire to see and learn about new countries, new cultures, races and religions.  I have never lost that desire to learn more about others and to escape into a good book.  I read around 100 books per year of all types including novels, biographies, historical, spiritual, etc.

The need to learn more about others also helped shape my beliefs and remove fear of those unknown.  In other words, bigotry and hatred comes from a lack of knowledge and understanding.  Teaching one to read and giving them the freedom to read what they want will do more for the advancement of a civilized world than just about any other single act.  I have been fortunate enough to travel to many wonderful places and see firsthand those cultures, countries and peoples that I read about.  My reading and thus travels led to my realization that the world is not infinite and is actually quite small.

So, where am I going with this?  I know of a wonderful nonprofit out to do something about improving the education in their country by this very vehicle, reading.  But first, before I tell you about Bright Star Mobile Library, I must tell you about the gentleman who has worked tirelessly to form and expand the organization.  A few years ago, Mr. Saeed Malik had returned to his home country of Pakistan after a long career with the United Nations Food Program.  During his career, Mr. Malik lived abroad in the United States, Italy and elsewhere.

I had the pleasure of knowing Mr. Malik through his children, who are like family to me.  Since meeting him, I having always held Mr. Malik in the highest regard.  In fact, having grown up in a less than desirable childhood with a father who simply shouldn't have been a father, I can say this with absolute conviction, if I could have chosen a dad, it would have been Mr. Malik.

Ok, now we have what and the who, let's talk about the how and get something done.  The how is Bright Star Mobile Library ( http://brightstarlibrary.com/default.html ).  There is a very good article on NPR.org about Bright Star and Mr. Malik's desire to make a positive impact on the lives of children in Pakistan.

 http://www.npr.org/2013/02/28/173161452/at-a-pakistani-mobile-library-kids-can-check-out-books-and-hope

I encourage you to read it as his words are far better than mine in explaining why his passion for providing resources to children to allow them to have hope and imagine a world different than what they see around them.  Hope and imagination are the absolute lifeblood for the advancement of society and possibly one day a world where children are not hungry or afraid and books not bullets are the norm.

Now we are down to the, "What can we do?"  Bright Star Mobile Library is funded solely by donations.  Also, to make it easier in the United Stated to donate, you can go to http://give2asia.org/bsml which is a landing page via Give 2 Asia specifically for Bright Star.  There is a donate link you can use.  At the time that I publish this, I will have completed my donation.  I ask that you do the same and that you continue to pass this blog to friends and encourage them to do the same.  Let's prove change can come from one and grow to many and as a "Thank You" to Mr. Malik for his selfless work and to let him know people do care.

Namaste

"Where there is charity and wisdom, there is neither fear nor ignorance." - Francis of Assisi

Yes, it’s a Pity Party!

I know for all of us at times life and its endless ability to try and take away a piece of our spirit can seem overwhelming.  At times I feel almost panicked, maybe a bit sorry for myself, and truth be told, a bit fearful, because of a series of events in the last decade.  Here they at a high level.  They have made me a bit tired and probably a little road worn, but do not take it as a “poor me” list.   It is only to make a point, so please stay with me.

• Life altering illness with multiple ups and downs, multitude of medications and the worst was my perfectly laid out plan for my life went up in smoke

• Episodes of drug toxicity or failure for my illness that has taken a toll physically

• Economic crash in 2008/2009 wiped out most of my life savings and a professional lawsuit associated with a company collapse I was involved with at that time, managed to wipe out the rest of my savings with legal bills and lasted a spirit draining 2.5 years

• Becoming older and trying to compete in a job market that is really not that keen on professionals over the age of 50, especially in business

• Working to find the balance of life/health and work is difficult and frightening, because what happens if I can’t juggle fast enough and it collapses around me

• And, to demonstrate the extraordinarily wry sense of humor that is life, a tax audit in which they decided my numbers were ok, but one segment of expenses needed to be moved to another schedule and btw, that triggered more self-employment tax, changes in AMT and let’s not forget penalties and interest

• Last but certainly not least, the failure of 2 relationships during this period with the aftereffect being one of great uncertainty about trying again, both ended due to their infidelity,  – translation is that I haven’t been on a date in around 6 years

All of this when I see some of the events taking place around the world seems so embarrassingly small.  Yes, we all need someone to listen to us with compassion and understanding.  This does not mean you must provide a solution or even comment.  Just a wonderfully thoughtful and compassionate ear.

There are many types of tragedies in humanity with some being caused by nature, some by the failure of human science or invention and some due purely to the failure of the humanity of individuals.  We can do little about tragedies caused by nature and since humans are most definitely fallible, we will continue to have failures of science and invention.

So let’s focus on the failure of those who seem to lack humanity.  How do we deal with the fact that “mean people suck?” We must do so with compassion, which according to Buddha teachings is a very powerful emotion.  Thich Nhat Hanh, one of the best known and most respected Zen masters in the world today, is a poet, and peace and human rights activist.  He states, “Compassionate listening is to help the other side suffer less. If we realize that other people are the same people as we are, we are no longer angry at them.”  I translate this to mean let go of our anger at those who through their deliberate actions cause you pain, anger and fear.  Try as best you can to treat them with compassion and love.

Thich Nhat Hanh also points out the depth at which compassion can transform mere humans into extraordinary beings.  “With compassion you can die for other people, like the mother who can die for her child. You have the courage to say it because you are not afraid of losing anything, because you know that understanding and love is the foundation of happiness. But if you have fear of losing your status, your position, you will not have the courage to do it.”

So let’s apply some wisdom from others to the type of items around my list of “events” that have occurred in the last decade:

•  Illness:  “Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

• Wealth:  “The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.” – Bob Marley

• Life Balance:  “We humans have lost the wisdom of genuinely resting and relaxing. We worry too much. We don't allow our bodies to heal, and we don't allow our minds and hearts to heal.” Thich Nhat Hanh

• Aging & Employment:  “The biggest change in being older and working in our modern western society is that my bullshit factor has dropped considerably.  That doesn’t always come across well.” – Tom DeSpain

• Love & Betrayal:  “I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.” – Martin Luther King, Jr. 

I know this was a rambler, but I hope it gives you food for thought.  We can’t always control what goes on around us but should try and focus on the now.  The best help to others is compassionate listening.

Namaste

NOTE:  to learn more about Thich Nhat Hanh, please go to plumvillage.org

A Bit like Licking Honey from a Knife

I have had “being in love” on my mind a great deal lately.  Not sure why and certainly not from any desire to jump back into that life altering quagmire, not that I’m jaded you see.

The title is a take on an analogy from Buddha regarding both wealth and sex.  Both goals the Buddha considered dangerous to say the least.  The actual translated quote is, “They are just like a child who cannot resist honey on the blade of a knife. Even though the amount is not even enough for a single meal serving, he will lick it and risk cutting his tongue in the process.” I liked the analogy because I think of all that I have done in the past in the name of love, or rather being in love.

Although the mores on love and sex in that time were not equal to today’s modern western society, the actions and results have not changed that much.  In fact, I believe the actions and results are probably swifter and more pronounced than in Buddha’s time.  With the sensationalized, hyped, nipped, tucked, adjusted, and faked-up physicality that surrounds us today in movies, television, internet, fashion, dating sites, etc., etc., we have developed into a society who is forever seeking perfection.  Always looking, even when we shouldn't be, for the next “better” version of our love.

Now I am not saying this applies to everyone.  I have had the privilege of meeting and knowing couples who are sincerely and deeply in love and have been for many years.  However, there are always some very obvious traits in these relationships.  For one, they are no longer simply blinded by their love for the other person.  That is not to say they want be in your face and space if you dare say anything bad about their partner, because they will.

They have a great deal of trust and air of calm around them.  It is as if they are the yin-yang of one another.  At times, if you watch, they will appear to have this private look of awe in their eyes when they look at their love.  I always enjoy it when I get a glimpse of that moment.  They haven’t been caught up in the must find the ever better version.  They have found that puzzle piece that fits.  This is not to say they were incomplete, because they were complete or they would never have been able to become that deeply in love.  This puzzle piece fits in such a way to allow them to continue to grow and expand as an individual.  This plain of growth is an overlap of the two of them.  It is unique and special when found and nurtured.

Sadly, this is the exception.  We as a society seem to have become so obsessed with finding love that it is as if we have confused the two.  We seek that instant rush of first meeting and being at the very least physically inebriated by the other person.  This feeling is simply not sustainable.  If it were, you would never be aware of the intensity of the sensation and it would simply be ordinary. 

And yes, I enjoy when this sensation happens, although at this point in my life, I do not wish to act on it.  I was in the grocery store yesterday and this very attractive man and I kept literally bumping into each other as the store was very crowded.  The last time it happened we both blushed, apologize and OMG, we giggled.  How embarrassing, but damn it was fun and I believe I strutted a little as I left.  I am only human.

At this point, you must be wondering what is the purpose of this blog.  Well, none really.  Love is way too complicated for someone to claim to have the answers.  It is also more complex today than ever before to find, fall and stay in love with someone.  It takes work, but literally should be a labor of love.  I have experienced in my life unbelievable love.  The kind that made your breath catch every time they came into the room or brushed against me.  I will always be in love with that person; however, I never wish to be with them again.

So, even though I am not with my life love anymore, would I do it again?  You better believe it.  In fact, if it does happen, which I am not actively looking for that to occur, I would consider myself very fortunate.  With that said, love yourself, stop seeking perfection, don’t be in love with the idea of being in love, and perhaps, if Karma is with you, love could appear.  If it does, treat it as the gift that it is.

Namaste

“This is love:  to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment.  First to let go of life.  Finally, to take a step without feet.” – Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Rumi (“Rumi”, Tajikistan & Turkey, 09/30/1207-12/17/1273)