This Week's Word & Thought: Hate

Definition of hate

a:  intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury

b:  extreme dislike or disgust:  antipathy, loathing had a great hate of hard work

After hearing the news this morning about the attack on basically children in Manchester, England, my emotions kept jumping from fear to tears to hate.  When I would reach hate, I would tell myself, “No!”, because they would win. 

The hostile environment around the world is becoming prolific purely by the emotional actions of other people.  We have a choice to hate or not to hate.  We have a choice to examine deeply those little fears and prejudices we hide away, with many no longer hiding them.  Sometimes our fears, prejudices, and potential hate work in reverse.  We are in some way one of the targets of hate, therefore have the potential to hate back.  Maybe because we are liberal or conservative, Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Atheist, Gay, Straight, Bi, Trans, or in denial?  Or because we are black, brown, white, English speaking, Spanish speaking, Mandarin speaking, or Arabic speaking, or speak one of the 6,905 other languages in the world?  And what about all those damn dialects within languages that you don’t understand!? Maybe it is because you are from one of the “other” 195 countries in the world?

Perhaps it is a different type of scary group.  Such as “old people” (me), people with disabilities always in your way, or someone with a chronic illness (they probably did something to cause it)?  Perhaps it is veterans, police officers, or people who like guns!?  You know they are all violent! Maybe it is the poor you shun because they are a burden on society and thus you, or the rich because they have it easy and get away with everything?  It could be as simple as long hair, shaved heads, pony tails on men, chubby people, tattoos, or some other physical manifestation that just wrecks your sensibilities?

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”  - Martin Luther King, Jr.

We must embrace our differences if we are to survive and flourish.  Why?  Look at these statistics and hopefully it will give you reason to pause and think about the actions you take.  Hopefully it will help you self-examine your own biases and prejudices.

• World Population:  7.5 Billion human beings
• Languages Spoken:  1.1B Mandarin Chinese, 490M Hindi, 420M Spanish, 510M English, 230M Arabic, 213M Portuguese, 215M Bengali, 255M Russian, 127M Japanese, 229M German, and then the rest of the world languages with many in the millions
• Religions:  2.2B Christians, 1.6B Muslims, 1.1B Unaffiliated, 1.0B Hindus, 488M Buddhists, 405M Folk Religions, 58M Other Minor Religions, 14M Jewish
• Population by Gender:  3.8B M and 3.7B F
• Population by Sexual Identify:  basically, all over the board depending on which research or source – briefly, we are a very diverse world population by sexual orientation and gender identification with the younger population being more like “Who cares?”

In summary and based on just this sampling of reasons for potential fear and hate, you can’t possibly make all this diversity into a “you”.  It is impossible, impractical, and in reality, ridiculous.  However, think of all the knowledge you could gain from knowing some of these human beings who are so different from you.  Here is a quote from my blog on February 9, 2014.

“If Nature, or God, or Allah, or Jehovah, or evolution, or whatever you wish to call the force that causes us and all life to exist can create roses of a vast and beautiful array, why is it so complicated and fearful to believe that force can also create a beautiful and vast array of us?  Rage against the injustice people.  Do not be part of the silent majority.  Your uniqueness may be next.”

Namaste,

Tom

This Week's Word & Thought: Triumph!

I know this post is late, but this has been a strangely challenging week.  Seemed several events occurred that could cause you to pretty much question everything!  Forget the insanity of our current administration we are barraged with on a daily basis.  Forget the insane amount of violence and hate that seems to be occurring at an increased rate.  It was a week with items that bothered me even beyond the stress of these other two recent “norms” we must deal with daily.

Someone close to me who works as a medical professional spoke of the passing of an 18-month-old patient.  I saw a video this week of a Syrian boy pleading for the world to intervene and stop the attacks on civilians.  There were the latest reports this last week on how far Venezuela has fallen into almost total chaos with people starving and military control becoming the norm.  I had a friend having some major issues that had them in a relatively dark place mentally and emotionally.  I was very worried.  The topper, work has been tough this week as well as the endless commute.  I know, “Woe is me!”

I bring these events up not to depress you or drag you down.  I bring them up to point out those around you may be having a bad day, week, month, etc.  Sometimes a kind word or thought is needed and sometimes just “being there” with understanding, love, and patience.  It also helps to let someone know that as long as you are alive and able, you can help impact change to improve the human condition.  You being here now, alive and reading this, is nothing short of a triumphant win of the lottery that is our universe. 

I am very glad you won.

“For me, the vast marvel is to be alive. For man, or for flowers or beast or bird, the supreme triumph is to be most vividly and perfectly alive.” – Al Purdy

One of the most perfect observations I have read.  So, go and be perfectly alive and revel in it and those around whom you consider friends and loved ones.

BTW, here is some information on Al Purdy.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al_Purdy

Namaste,

Tom

This Week's Word & Thought: Learning

I was having a brief discussion with my work bud, Mean Joe Meanor, about the topic of learning.  We both agreed that as you progressed in age and hopefully gain some wisdom, you realize the greatest way to learn is to listen.  If you are ever to understand what information or knowledge you have that is valuable to those around you, first you listen.  Only then are you able to learn what to teach.

The professional work environment can sometimes be so competitive that those in it believe they must be heard to be of value.  That is simply not true.  To be of value at work, you must first be able to learn and then through that knowledge understand what it is you have to offer so others may learn.  This process is circular in nature and should always be continuous.  Never stop listening and never stop learning.

What did you listen to today?  What did you learn today?  

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow.  Learn as if you were to live forever.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Namaste,

Tom

This Week's Word & Thought: Believe

Sometimes I have some random thought that becomes stuck in my poor feeble brain and it continues to swirl and circle until I take it out and examine it.  I was thinking about life, happiness, beauty.  I was thinking about what that means to me.  And, sometimes you simply want to think about something that makes you smile.  Whether it was a funny joke, your four-legged friend’s antics, the love of another, or the pure joy of a child.  Sometimes you just want to smile inside. 

One of the images, or rather person, that always pops into my mind when I want to think a feeling of happiness is of Audrey Hepburn.  As a child, I always thought she was one of the most beautiful and kind people in the world.  As my childhood was a bit cloudy and dark, I always gravitated to adult images who appeared kind and gentle.  She became a part of my adolescent growth as what someone could be.  I say that so you understand this wasn’t a childhood crush on a star.  This was a child who was looking to find good in someone.  That meant hope.

As I grew into adulthood, I was now fortunate enough to realize that Audrey Hepburn truly was an exceptional human being.  She loved life, those around her, and those who were less fortunate.  She was a truly great humanitarian and example of what goodness can be.  Here is one of my all-time favorite quotes from her.  It simply makes me smile and feel happy.  It makes me believe.

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.” – Audrey Hepburn

A little about Ms. Hepburn from Wikipedia:

Audrey Hepburn; born Audrey Kathleen Ruston; (4 May 1929 – 20 January 1993) was a British actress, model, dancer and humanitarian. Recognized as a film and fashion icon, Hepburn was active during Hollywood's Golden Age. She was ranked by the American Film Institute as the third-greatest female screen legend in Golden Age Hollywood and was inducted into the International Best Dressed List Hall of Fame. Born in Ixelles, a district of Brussels, Hepburn spent her childhood between Belgium, England and the Netherlands. In Amsterdam, she studied ballet with Sonia Gaskell before moving to London in 1948, continuing her ballet training with Marie Rambert, and then performing as a chorus girl in West End musical theatre productions.

Following minor appearances in several films, Hepburn starred in the 1951 Broadway play Gigi after being spotted by French novelist Colette, on whose work the play was based. She shot to stardom for playing the lead role in Roman Holiday (1953), for which she was the first actress to win an Academy Award, a Golden Globe and a BAFTA Award for a single performance. The same year Hepburn won a Tony Award for Best Lead Actress in a Play for her performance in Ondine. She went on to star in a number of successful films, such as Sabrina (1954), The Nun's Story (1959), Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961), Charade (1963), My Fair Lady (1964) and Wait Until Dark (1967), for which she received Academy Award, Golden Globe and BAFTA nominations. Hepburn won a record three BAFTA Awards for Best British Actress in a Leading Role. In recognition of her film career, she was awarded the Lifetime Achievement Award from BAFTA, the Golden Globe Cecil B. DeMille Award, the Screen Actors Guild Life Achievement Award and the Special Tony Award. She remains one of the 12 people who have won Academy, Emmy, Grammy and Tony Awards.

Hepburn appeared in fewer films as her life went on, devoting much of her later life to UNICEF. She had contributed to the organization since 1954, then worked in some of the poorest communities of Africa, South America and Asia between 1988 and 1992. She was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom in recognition of her work as a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador in December 1992. A month later, Hepburn died of appendiceal cancer at her home in Switzerland at the age of 63.

Namaste,

Tom

This Week's Word & Thought: I See You

I came across a poem a friend (thanks Armita!) had posted last week that gave me one of those “ah-ha” moments.  In a past post, I wrote about real love being something you give away with no expectations in return, but always wanted to give a better definition of love.  Not just love for your lover, but for family and friends as well.  Although we all experience different types of love, the core definition is the same and involves our ability to give, unconditionally, to another.

Through introspection, I have often wondered how good am I at loving another?  I have observed those in love with someone who have some type of serious disability or disfiguring injury and admired their commitment and love, but wondered if I could do that.  Here is Omoehi’s poem that defines real love with all of its messy real life issues.

“It’s easy to love people

when they have good health

great looks, perfect hair

smooth voices, trendy clothes

fast cars, attractive makeup.

But to love people

defined by adversity,

imprisoned by fear

vulnerable to illness

burdened by the past,

that’s to love the darkness

in their soul.”

In a word, profound.

I researched the author of the poem, Omoehi Ehixojie.  Who is an author and poet currently residing in Las Vegas.  He is originally from Nigeria.  You can read more of his work at http://omoehiehixojie.blogspot.com/ if you are interested in a modern-day poet with some very poignant observations in wonderful expressions of poetry.

Namaste,

Tom

This Week's Word & Thought: Criticism

According to Merriam-Webster:

• the act of expressing disapproval and of noting the problems or faults of a person or thing: the act of criticizing someone or something
• a remark or comment that expresses disapproval of someone or something
• the activity of making careful judgments about the good and bad qualities of books, movies, etc.

This I have found with age is a very subjective process. 

Example, when I worked for Amoco Production Company (now part of BP), I had progressed fairly rapidly over a 3-year period in their accounting and data center and had really only one critique that kept coming up in those dreaded corporate reviews, “You are too aggressive.  Try to be more laid back in your actions.”  Well, fast forward 3 more years and still being steadily successful, but now the company had gone through some dramatic changes.  After IBM started the trend of “downsizing” for profit, which prior to that was not really a common practice (early 1990’s), Wall Street ate it up!  It then became a trend and Amoco jumped on that bit of Wall Street twisted logic and we went from approximately 1,200 staff at the accounting and data center to just under 700.  Suddenly, your nice job became about two jobs.  I remembered my review in that period and the one item that stuck in my mind was, “You have terrific initiative and get things done.  Great job!”  Subjective and circumstantial.

However, I also think, if done with good intentions, can be helpful and in some cases, even when wrongly given, is a hazard of doing.  In the previous, it did make me focus on trying to become less purely tactical and become more thoughtful in the process itself.  Making it more human and emotive.

Here is a thought to keep in mind the next time someone, possibly even me, offers you unsolicited criticism.

“There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” – Aristotle

Go be something!

Namaste,

Tom

This Week's Word & Thought: We

A Brave and Startling Truth 
by Maya Angelo

We, this people, on a small and lonely planet 
Traveling through casual space 
Past aloof stars, across the way of indifferent suns 
To a destination where all signs tell us 
It is possible and imperative that we learn 
A brave and startling truth 

And when we come to it 
To the day of peacemaking 
When we release our fingers 
From fists of hostility 
And allow the pure air to cool our palms 

When we come to it 
When the curtain falls on the minstrel show of hate 
And faces sooted with scorn are scrubbed clean 
When battlefields and coliseum 
No longer rake our unique and particular sons and daughters 
Up with the bruised and bloody grass 
To lie in identical plots in foreign soil 

When the rapacious storming of the churches 
The screaming racket in the temples have ceased 
When the pennants are waving gaily 
When the banners of the world tremble 
Stoutly in the good, clean breeze 

When we come to it 
When we let the rifles fall from our shoulders 
And children dress their dolls in flags of truce 
When land mines of death have been removed 
And the aged can walk into evenings of peace 
When religious ritual is not perfumed 
By the incense of burning flesh 
And childhood dreams are not kicked awake 
By nightmares of abuse 

When we come to it 
Then we will confess that not the Pyramids 
With their stones set in mysterious perfection 
Nor the Gardens of Babylon 
Hanging as eternal beauty 
In our collective memory 
Not the Grand Canyon 
Kindled into delicious color 
By Western sunsets 

Nor the Danube, flowing its blue soul into Europe 
Not the sacred peak of Mount Fuji 
Stretching to the Rising Sun 
Neither Father Amazon nor Mother Mississippi who, without favor, 
Nurture all creatures in the depths and on the shores 
These are not the only wonders of the world 

When we come to it 
We, this people, on this minuscule and kithless globe 
Who reach daily for the bomb, the blade and the dagger 
Yet who petition in the dark for tokens of peace 
We, this people on this mote of matter 
In whose mouths abide cankerous words 
Which challenge our very existence 
Yet out of those same mouths 
Come songs of such exquisite sweetness 
That the heart falters in its labor 
And the body is quieted into awe 

We, this people, on this small and drifting planet 
Whose hands can strike with such abandon 
That in a twinkling, life is sapped from the living 
Yet those same hands can touch with such healing, irresistible tenderness 
That the haughty neck is happy to bow 
And the proud back is glad to bend 
Out of such chaos, of such contradiction 
We learn that we are neither devils nor divines 

When we come to it 
We, this people, on this wayward, floating body 
Created on this earth, of this earth 
Have the power to fashion for this earth 
A climate where every man and every woman 
Can live freely without sanctimonious piety 
Without crippling fear 

When we come to it 
We must confess that we are the possible 
We are the miraculous, the true wonder of this world 
That is when, and only when 
We come to it. 

Namaste and Thank You my Loved Ones and Friends – Tom