I have had “being in love” on my mind a great deal
lately. Not sure why and certainly not
from any desire to jump back into that life altering quagmire, not that I’m
jaded you see.
The title is a take on an analogy from Buddha regarding both
wealth and sex. Both goals the Buddha
considered dangerous to say the least. The
actual translated quote is, “They are
just like a child who cannot resist honey on the blade of a knife. Even though
the amount is not even enough for a single meal serving, he will lick it and
risk cutting his tongue in the process.” I liked the analogy because I
think of all that I have done in the past in the name of love, or rather being
in love.
Although the mores on love and sex in that time were not
equal to today’s modern western society, the actions and results have not
changed that much. In fact, I believe
the actions and results are probably swifter and more pronounced than in Buddha’s
time. With the sensationalized, hyped,
nipped, tucked, adjusted, and faked-up physicality that surrounds us today in
movies, television, internet, fashion, dating sites, etc., etc., we have
developed into a society who is forever seeking perfection. Always looking, even when we shouldn't be,
for the next “better” version of our love.
Now I am not saying this applies to everyone. I have had the privilege of meeting and knowing
couples who are sincerely and deeply in love and have been for many years. However, there are always some very obvious
traits in these relationships. For one,
they are no longer simply blinded by their love for the other person. That is not to say they want be in your face
and space if you dare say anything bad about their partner, because they will.
They have a great deal of trust and air of calm around
them. It is as if they are the yin-yang
of one another. At times, if you watch,
they will appear to have this private look of awe in their eyes when they look
at their love. I always enjoy it when I
get a glimpse of that moment. They haven’t
been caught up in the must find the ever better version. They have found that puzzle piece that
fits. This is not to say they were
incomplete, because they were complete or they would never have been able to
become that deeply in love. This puzzle
piece fits in such a way to allow them to continue to grow and expand as an
individual. This plain of growth is an
overlap of the two of them. It is unique
and special when found and nurtured.
Sadly, this is the exception. We as a society seem to have become so
obsessed with finding love that it is as if we have confused the two. We seek that instant rush of first meeting
and being at the very least physically inebriated by the other person. This feeling is simply not sustainable. If it were, you would never be aware of the
intensity of the sensation and it would simply be ordinary.
And yes, I enjoy when this sensation happens, although at
this point in my life, I do not wish to act on it. I was in the grocery store yesterday and this
very attractive man and I kept literally bumping into each other as the store
was very crowded. The last time it
happened we both blushed, apologize and OMG, we giggled. How embarrassing, but damn it was fun and I
believe I strutted a little as I left. I
am only human.
At this point, you must be wondering what is the purpose of
this blog. Well, none really. Love is way too complicated for someone to
claim to have the answers. It is also
more complex today than ever before to find, fall and stay in love with
someone. It takes work, but literally
should be a labor of love. I have
experienced in my life unbelievable love.
The kind that made your breath catch every time they came into the room
or brushed against me. I will always be
in love with that person; however, I never wish to be with them again.
So, even though I am not with my life love anymore, would I
do it again? You better believe it. In fact, if it does happen, which I am not
actively looking for that to occur, I would consider myself very
fortunate. With that said, love
yourself, stop seeking perfection, don’t be in love with the idea of being in
love, and perhaps, if Karma is with you, love could appear. If it does, treat it as the gift that it is.
Namaste
“This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a
hundred veils to fall each moment. First
to let go of life. Finally, to take a
step without feet.” – Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Rumi (“Rumi”, Tajikistan &
Turkey, 09/30/1207-12/17/1273)
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