This Week's Word & Thought: Power

“Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent then the one derived from fear of punishment.”  - Mahatma Gandhi

His Legacy

Mahatma Gandhi is known as the Father of India. His birth date is celebrated as a national holiday in India - Gandhi Jayanti. He devoted his life to the cause of Indian independence from the British Empire. He said, "Just as a man would not cherish living in a body other than his own, so do nations not like to live under other nations, however noble and great the latter may be."  Gandhi once said, "Non-violence is the greatest force at the disposal of mankind. It is mightier than the mightiest weapon of destruction devised by the ingenuity of man." Throughout the world, the date of his birth is celebrated as the International Day of Nonviolence.

To Gandhi, power was non-violence and love.  I believe it is very fitting for the current times that surround us and realizing many feel anger and fear.  Stay the course and do not lose hope in the progress we have made as a country.  After all, love does trump hate.

Namaste

Thought & Word for the Week: Freedom

I asked one of my work team members to give me  a word that inspires them.  I was given a quote that I had not heard before and after reading decided “freedom” was the word.  Here is the quote:

“My freedom will be so much the greater and more meaningful the more narrowly I limit my field of action and the more I surround myself with obstacles. Whatever diminishes constraint diminishes strength. The more constraints one imposes, the more one frees one's self of the chains that shackle the spirit." – Igor Stravinsky

Igor Fyodorovich Stravinsky was a Russian-French-American composer, pianist and conductor.  He is widely considered one of the most important and influential composers of the 20^th century.  Born June 17, 1882 in Lomonosov, Russia and Died April 6, 1971 in New York City, NY.

Here is a quote on freedom from one of my most admired:

“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything - anger, anxiety, or possessions - we cannot be free.”  ― Thich Nhat Hanh

Thích Nhất Hạnh is a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, teacher, author, poet and peace activist who now lives in southwest France where he was in exile for many years. Born Nguyễn Xuân Bảo, Thích Nhất Hạnh joined a Zen (Vietnamese: Thiền) monastery at the age of 16, and studied Buddhism as a novitiate. Upon his ordination as a monk in 1949, he assumed the Dharma name Thích Nhất Hạnh. Thích is an honorary family name used by all Vietnamese monks and nuns, meaning that they are part of the Shakya (Shakyamuni Buddha) clan. He is often considered the most influential living figure in the lineage of Lâm Tế (Vietnamese Rinzai) Thiền, and perhaps also in Zen Buddhism as a whole.

Namaste,

This Week's Word & Thought: Heroes

Recent events in our nation and in the world demonstrate even more the need to reach out and actively voice love and acceptance.  We start with our families and friends as well as each other and those we interact with on a daily basis. 

Here are four of my top heroes in life and a quote from each on this topic. 

No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion.  People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.  – Nelson Mandela

You must not lose faith in humanity.  Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. – Mahatma Gandhi

It is time for parents to teach young people early on that in diversity there is beauty and there is strength.  – Maya Angelou

If we are to have peace on earth…our loyalties must transcend our race, our tribe, our class, and our nation; and this means we must develop a world perspective.  – Martin Luther King, Jr.

Here is wishing each of you peace in a time of turmoil.

Namaste,

PS:  true translation of Namaste is “I bow to you.”

This Week's Word and Thought: Kindness

As my initial audience knows, I stopped writing my blog regularly over a year ago.  There were many reasons for this, but primarily I had concerns over what right do I have to express my opinion on many world events and human behavior.  I have decided that as a member of humanity, I do have a right to speak my mind, but have also decided for it to be on a smaller weekly scale.

At work I do a weekly email titled "This Week's Word and Thought" and I want to share those thoughts with a broader audience.  I hope you enjoy!  Namaste, Tom

"Kindness in words creates confidence.

Kindness in thinking creates profoundness.

Kindness in giving creates love."  - Lao Tzu

Lao Tzu, or "Old Master," is an honorary title for the ancient Chinese man whose original name was Li Er. As a saint or deity, he is known by many names, including Lao Jun and Lao Dan. He is credited with founding philosophical and religious Daoism.

Little is truly known about the Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu (sometimes also known as Laozi or Lao Tze), who is a guiding figure in Daoism (also translated as Taoism), a still popular spiritual practice. He is said to have been a record keeper in the court of the central Chinese Zhou Dynasty in the 6th century B.C., and an older contemporary of Confucius. This could be true, but he may also have been entirely mythical—much like Homer in Western culture. It is certainly very unlikely that (as some legends say) he was conceived when his mother saw a falling star, or born an old man with very long earlobes – or lived 990 years.

You can read more about him, whether real or mythical, at 

http://bit.ly/thephilosphersmail_LaoTzu

Next It May Be You

First, I must apologize to my readers for being so late with a new blog.  Sometimes life gets hectic and you run just to keep up!  However, your words of encouragement and comments on previous blogs fuels my intent to continue.  I try to always focus on inspiration or events that we can relate to on a daily basis.  I hope to continue with that and as always your feedback is important to me.

The vast majority of us are the well-intended, hardworking and honest “silent majority”.  We are busy trying to juggle our daily lives, family and close friends.  Add on top of that tough careers and trying to make ends meet on what seems like an ever increasing gap between income and expenses.  But sometimes, we must speak up.  This is one of those times I am asking you to do just that.

This isn't a blog about being gay or lesbian or straight or bi-sexual or transgender.  It is about being human.  It is about a depth of violence being perpetrated on a minority group of people for no other reason than they exist.  The frightening part about this is it has happened before and will continue to happen unless the silent majority speaks up and says, “Hell no!”  Waiting leads to the behavior becoming acceptable.  Look up the worst atrocities such as genocides and crimes against humanity in Wikipedia and you will see a frightening re-occurrence of hate.

In Russia, there is increasing open violence against particularly gay men.  Russia has never been especially tolerant; however, it has become epidemic in hate after Russian President Vladimir Putin signed into law an “anti-homosexual propaganda” law in June 2013.  This pretty much made every support group or attempt at supporting the LGBT community in Russia illegal.  It also sent a clear message to hate groups, “Open Season on Gays”.

The two most despicable vigilante leaders of these activities are Ekaterina Zigunova (the following link gives you a better understanding of this dangerous young woman)

http://www.change.org/p/united-nations-stop-ekaterina-zigunova-and-other-members-of-the-lgbt-hate-group-occupy-pedophilia

 

and Maxim Martsinkevich, an ultra-nationalist who formed a nationwide organization that kidnaps and tortures young gay teens (the following link will give you an idea of the brutality of this man).

http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2014/08/russian-anti-gay-extremist-sentenced-to-five-years-in-penal-colony/

 

Through a great deal of pressure by many in the world, Maxim Martsinkevich was finally arrested and sentenced to 5 years in a Russian penal colony.  Just think he kidnapped, beat and humiliated gay kids.  Only 5 years and no other prosecutions.

The following are videos of activities in Russia.  Only continued pressure will cause Putin to change the awful course he has now set in Russia.  The first is a video of this violence and I must warn you it is hard to watch.  It is courtesy of the Human Rights Watch nonprofit organization.

The second is a documentary about vigilante group that Ekaterina Zigunova leads.  The most frightening part of the video is what would have happened if the documentary camera person and interviewer did not insist on remaining when they had tricked a young man into coming to an apartment for a hookup and instead finds himself surrounded by a group of very hostile anti-gay vigilantes.

http://mm.hrw.org/content/russia-turns-blind-eye-homophobic-violence

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-dDd4dtOFM

Just to point out, it happens in other places as well and pretty much unchecked and nonstop.  After this paragraph are sample videos from Kyrgyzstan and Jamaica.  The top ten in the world “sucks to be gay” places are Iran, Turkey, Afghanistan, Nigeria, Uganda, Jamaica, Russia, Singapore, Northern Cyprus,  and India.  The last link has an article on that titled, 10 Countries That Completely Hate Gay People by Morris M. December 30, 2013.  

Morris is a freelance writer and newly-qualified teacher, still working and hoping to make a difference in his students' lives. You can send your comments to his email, or visit some of the other websites that hire him.

Read More: Email Urban Ghosts

Kyrgyzstan

http://mm.hrw.org/content/kyrgyzstan-police-abuse-gay-men

Jamaica

http://mm.hrw.org/content/unchecked-homophobic-violence-jamaica

Morris M. Article

http://listverse.com/2013/12/30/10-countries-that-completely-hate-gay-people/

Additional information is available in an article by Hannah Jane Parkinson published in the Technology section of The Guardian.  The article was published online February 11, 2014.  

Especially heartbreaking is the story of Kirill Maryin, a young teenage boy in Novosibirsk, Russia’s third largest city.  He actually says it is hopeless for him.  Kirill is using a Twitter account, @ru_lgbt_teen with a picture of an SOS and the bio:  “World, help us!  I plead you!  History must not happen again!”

My heart breaks and if I could I would go get him now and bring him to where a child can be safe.  I am not only sad, I am angry. 

The Guardian Article

http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2014/feb/11/russia-violent-anti-gay-groups-vkontakte-lgbt-sochi

Groups like Human Rights Watch are excellent ways to reach out and say no to the evil that is released on others who are in the minority or in a position of weakness and simply cannot fight back.  We cannot allow activities such as this to go unanswered or unchallenged.  Scream out, “Hell no!”

http://www.hrw.org/

Namaste,

“The Roots of Violence: Wealth without work, Pleasure without conscience, Knowledge without character, Commerce without morality, Science without humanity, Worship without sacrifice, Politics without principles."  - Mahatma Gandhi

An Unfinished Love Story

This blog is different from previous blogs.  It is a bit more of a story than a blog.  I hope I can do the story justice as I am not sure my words can adequately convey the depth and emotion.  This is a true story; however, told from only one side.  So, as is the way of human nature, it is slanted I am sure to that person’s idealized memory. 

This story starts over 37 years ago and involves two teenage boys in a small Middle America town complete will all the biases, bigotry and religious dogma typical of that type of town in the mid to late 1970’s.  Neither were originally from there.  One since he was 10 and the other was more recent near the time this story really starts.  I am pretty sure that both felt very out of place in this environment. 

There was about a year and a half age difference between the two.  Somewhere around 15/16 and the other at 16/17, they met.  It was instant and pretty much that dreamed of feeling of love at first sight, although neither knew anything about love, sexual orientation or sex for that matter.  Lots of confusion and guilt with no one to ask about their feelings and how to deal with them.

They both pretty much stumbled through the initial relationship with love, passion, guilt, recriminations, and lots and lots of tears.  The younger one, at the time, insisted he was not “gay” and that it was just his feelings for this particular boy.  The other, frightened by these words and not exactly sure what gay was, became even more confused.  In fact the only gay person he knew of based on the town’s gossip, which ran freely, was the local florist.  He was a bit effeminate and the older boy just always thought, “I’m not like that so I must not be gay.”

So, what does a small town boy in Middle America do in the late 70’s to convince himself and everyone else that he can’t be gay?  He gets married and actually before he even graduated high school.  Not exactly the best decision for an eighteen year old (by 2 months when the wedding occurred) and no there was no pregnancy involved.  The strange part is that all of the adults, except his mother, thought this was great. 

During the next 12 years they tried to maintain their close relationship, sometimes with disastrous consequences.  They were like two attracting magnets that could just as easily be flipped around to opposing magnets.  However, through it all, they still loved each other very much, at least according to the side of the story I know about.  They had even managed to put together and maintain a close friendship in the last 3 years of that period.  The younger one had also now married and from outward appearances was happy although the other knew he wasn't.

However, that peaceful period was not to last.   The older of the two now young men in their late twenties, couldn't continue to live a lie.  I doubt anyone can possibly stay emotionally and psychologically healthy living a lie about the very core of your being.  He loved his wife, but simply was not in love with her nor was he capable of being in love with her.  If he could have, he would have in a heartbeat rather than hurt her.  He also had children that were the center of his life and broke his heart to see them during a family being torn apart by his mistakes and perceived shortcomings.

The younger was a bit panicked and feared his life being turned upside down because people knew how close the two men were.  He turned his back on his long-time love and friend.  Not with malice and not with bad intent.  He was simply frightened.

Lots of time has passed and the older of the two has always kept up with the younger.  As pretty much anyone could guess, the younger man’s marriage eventually fell apart.  A relationship that is against your very nature in not sustainable.  He wanted to reach out to him, but had finally decided that wouldn't be right.  The younger one needed to reach out to him to reconnect.  He watched, or more like listened, to how his life was turned upside down as his had once been.  He wanted to help him, but knew he couldn't.

Events and memories happened outside their relationship that shaped and changed both of them.  Some events were great and some not so pleasant.  Both have dealt with major life changing events, including financial and health related and both continue to still move forward.  They also now know that there was never anything wrong with them.  The world around them had decided there was something wrong when in fact it was their issue.

They have both had singular other great loves, so in that way they are surely blessed.  Few people ever find the one great love let alone two.  They have watched their respective children grow to adulthood and thrive on their own, easing the guilt of the past.  They also now know they do not need to apologize to anyone for who they are and that yes unintentional mistakes were made as teenagers and young men that hurt others that they loved.  However, I know one half of the story has forgiven himself.  It is his hope the other has as well.  They are only human after all.

“So what now?” you may ask.  In the last year and due to a life threatening event, the younger one reach out to the other.  They have communicated via text and email for a while now primarily catching up on everything that has happened.  It also was the first confirmation by both that they were indeed each other’s very first love.  The older wrote to him that he loved him then, loved him since, loved him now, and will love him tomorrow.

It has been good for at least this side of the story and hopefully for the other as well.  I know they had their first phone conversation in over 25 years recently and spoke for quite some time.  It was if they had never been parted and the ease of the conversation was like your favorite pair of jeans, soft and comfortable.  The conversation ended without resolution as with everything there are complications.  However, after 37 years of together and separation and tentative starts and restarts, there is still hope. 

As long as there is hope, this story has not ended.

Namaste,

“To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves.” – Federico García Lorca, Blood Wedding 

"All great achievements require time." - Maya Angelou

I thought I had something all worked out in my feeble mind to write about today.  It is an important topic, but not one with as uplifting content as I hope this one will be for you.

This past week I had the privilege of participating in graduation celebrations for one of my dearest friends children, who I have come to love and adore very much.  Her eldest just graduated from a very prestigious and tough university.  Her twins, boy and girl (or should I now say young man and young woman), just graduated from high school.  They are remarkable young adults, which is not surprising as she is a remarkable woman.

It also caused me to be the reminiscing dad with thoughts about my sons and how very proud of them I am.  About thoughts of my niece and her accomplishments.  I thought of each of the beautiful women in my sons' lives and how they not only enhance their lives, but mine as well.  I thought about the future for my grandchildren and how with the proper seeds already planted, perhaps they will grow to also help make a difference in the ever changing and sometimes tumultuous world we call home.

At the graduation party, I observed all the family and friends gathered to celebrate not only these three remarkable young adults' achievements, but also to celebrate the journey we were all privileged to take with them.  And, in some small way, maybe even helped them.  I know I have some of the most wonderful friends who have in may cases been surrogate parents to my sons and are as much a part of the family as direct relations.

All of these thought provoking activities caused me to dwell extensively on Ms. Maya Angelou and her passing this last week.  There have been few in our limited and modern history, either man or woman, who so optimized the grace, elegance and beauty of education.  I can read her work and absorb in my brain while the whole time feeling as if she is speaking it to me.  Just me.  Those are powerful words.  Every chance I have gotten to watch her speak online, on television or in a few movies, I always felt as if in the presence of greatness.  She has always made me want to learn and be better than I started.  Better than I was last year.  Better than I was yesterday.

I want to share with you some of her more thought provoking quotes in regards to education, ignorance, change, and just in general, being human.  I encourage you to read her works.  They are remarkable.

"My mother said I must always be intolerant of ignorance but understanding of illiteracy.  That some people, unable to go to school, were more educated and more intelligent than college professors."

"Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends."

"One isn't necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can't be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest."

"Any book that helps a child to form a habit of reading, to make reading one of his deep and continuing needs, is good for him."

"What is a fear of living? It's being preeminently afraid of dying. It is not doing what you came here to do, out of timidity and spinelessness. The antidote is to take full responsibility for yourself - for the time you take up and the space you occupy. If you don't know what you're here to do, then just do some good."

"The poetry you read has been written for you, each of you - black, white, Hispanic, man, woman, gay, straight."

Thank you Ms. Angelou for teaching me different is ok and education is vital.  I will miss your presence.

Namaste

http://mayaangelou.com/