Early December 23rd of 2017, my Mom passed
away. She had lived a long time and was ninety
when she died. Her memory had slipped in
the last few years and she needed round the clock care. Although her death was not a surprise, it was
no less painful.
She was my Mom.
Lolamae Wilson DeSpain lived a long and interesting life
with the interesting being both on the good side and the bad side. She made good choices and bad choices and her
decisions sometimes caused her and her children pain.
But, she was my Mom.
In many ways and for many years she was my best friend. There was nothing I couldn’t tell her, and
she listened mostly without judgement.
Sometimes, when she didn’t agree or thought my thinking was incorrect,
she would tell me, not subtly either.
But okay, she was my Mom.
Lolamae was tough as a woman, compassionate as a human
being, loyal as a friend, and funny as hell when she wanted to be. Not always the best at being Mom and
sometimes a bit focused on her own issues, albeit understandable. However, the tough compassionate loyal and
funny traits made me love her even more.
No matter, she was my Mom.
She taught me a lot about life, especially as an adult. It was later in life when I was older and
reached up and took her off the parental pedestal and looked at her as one adult
to another, I saw the human side, with all the faults, flaws, cracks in the façade,
and beautiful wonderful characteristics of a human being. I was no longer angry at life as a child in
our rather dysfunctional family. Why?
Because she was my Mom, my dear friend, a beautifully flawed
and awesome human being who I will miss.
I love you Mom.
“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen nor
even touched, but just felt in the heart.” – Helen Keller
Take a moment, send a text or a card, make a call, send a
letter, but tell those you love how much they mean to you. Time stands still for no one and I know that
I myself often take for granted that those I love “know” I love them.
Namaste,
Tom
